My Fav0uRitE PieCE...

Bitter Sweet..

I cannot see you like this All worried and depressed Your face darkened And your eyes so sad Heartbroken. I want you to smile and grin All the time And I want you to dance I want you to sing Or just hum Some happy song. But I don't want you to do so Because I tell you to. I want you to do so Because you want to. Because you are happy. Comfortable. Cheerful. Confident. Joyful. Happy. Sunshiny. And I want you to see: Tommorow's gonna be better. ~ a poem gave by one of my BFF's

Fly aWay..

i wish i cud fly to the stars

I heard the wind blows...

I saw the storm is coming...

I feel the rain showers...

I didnt run for shelter

cud i fly?...

L00kInG ThrU...

-where are the rainbows,..

the rain has stopped...

I thot the sun started to shine..

-where are the rainbows..

-where are the stars...

the moon is glooming

i thot d clouds are clear

-where are the stars...

i wAs T0LD....

at 5 i was told,.. be good kakak,.. your sisters follows you...

I watched my steps...

at 7 i was told,.. good job kakak... your sisters looked up to you

i watched my steps...

at 9, i was told,.. you make us proud kakak... your sisters wanna excel too..

i watched my steps...

at 12, i was told to understand a grieve

i watched my steps.. but i cudnt see the path

it was so bumpy....

it started there...

mEL0dRamiC...

you feel

you listen

but there's no more rhyme

the groove moves

the melody swings

but there's no more rhyme

l0siNg a fReN...

I was shocked by the news. I heard from Ainon that Rafidah Ann passed away.

I recalled chatting with her several months back on Facebook. She was such a bubbly friend. None of us know dat she was suffering from breast cancer. She hid it well. She chosed not to let others know.

Later during the afternoon, i chatted with Emi and Yaya on FB. Emi knew bout Fida's condition bout a year ago. But been told that she refused to be contacted. According to Emi, even Fida's elder sister, K.Lilis refused to talk about Fida.

Yaya told me that she met Fida 3 mths ago. She loss quite alot of weight and her skin looked bloated. She claimed that it was due to some hormon treatment. She hid it well. Yaya told me that she, Nazelyn and Asma managed to pay their last respect to Fida before the funeral. She looked so calm. K.Lilis said that she was strong person, facing and battling the cancer. She was still trying to make jokes at her condition. She refused to let people treated her like she's dying.

I will always remember Fida as my bubbly, friendly frien, my class monitor when i was form 4 and form 5, the person i saw everyday when i turn around as she sat just behind my seat in the class. She was still the same funny person i used to know when i chatted with her...

Al-Fatihah..

tReAsURe...

G0 FigUre....

Life has ups Life has downs Life is sad Life is happy Life is hurting Life is healing Life is loving Life is losing LIfe is pain Life is comfort Life is sorrow Life is joy Life is enemies Life is friends Life is want Life is need But above all Life is worth living

The EsseNce oF L0Ve

You're my cushion when I fall

You help in times of trouble

You support me whenever I call

you're a wonderful mother,

So gentle, yet so strong.

The many ways you show you care

Always make me feel I belong.

I think of all the things you gave to me..

Sacrifice, devotion, love and tears,

Your heart, your mind, your energy and soul..

All these you spent on me throughout the years

I love you more than you know....

WOBBLY WOBLOO

Another sister of mine has started blogging. This is one of her latest scribbles. I love it. Bravo sistah!

Funny Little Lady

There's this little lady who's funny you see,
Always out of place seeing big blue bubbles when everyone was seeing a tree,
She stuck her nose in a book while others brushing dolly,
Life is fascinating she says, but mama why am i born as me?
Could i've been born a cat mouse or a lovely tiny bee?

Girls play with her but at times why is she speaking differently?
Boys understood coffee when she really meant tea,
why oh why mama im being me?
Dream is a place in mind i'd like 2 be,
with warm blankety clouds keeping me safe,calm and jolly as can be,
flying far far where evryone's seeing bubbles instead of a tree,

Square balloons pastel of kinds bouncing and tickling me,
There's a big wonderful mess bubbling inside of me,
Need to let it flow and grow so i could be happy ordinary as any little lady might be

BLESSED WITH 8 KIDS

I'm a big fan of them. I watched their show on tv daily and on YouTube. 9 years ago they had no idea that they are gonna have such a big family. 9 years ago Kate was diagnosed having PCOS just like me. Twins and then sextuplets? They have been blessed aren't they?

HEARTS OUT

It was good having books around. It even started me to write again.

i pray

may Allah give me the strength

i'm scared

i'm sad

i pray

May Allah give me patience

i'm in a hurry

i'm far away catching up

i pray

may Allah give me direction

i'm walking in a circle

i'm avoiding being lost

i pray

may Allah give me peace

i've love too much

i worried too much

i pray

may Allah give me sanity

i'm all cried out

i've drained out

i pray

may Allah grant me mercy and forgiveness

i've forgotten

i've ingnored

HAVE YOU EVER

I just bought this song from itunes recently. My favourite song 10 yrs ago, and remain my favourite till now. Click HERE if you wanna listen to the song.

My sister just got herself a camera, and was experimenting on every subject crossing her mind. Clearly I was not in the mood for shots. These was the most decent shots. The rest of the shots was embarrassingly ugly photos of us.

worming the books

I went to PWTC yesterday with a fren i met way back in 1986. We took the same bus to school though we were not from the same school. We did contact via greetings card and letters over the years when I was in JB. We did managed to stay in touch till 1997. I bumped into her at Giant 2 months ago. I was glad i agreed to join her. I was glad i finally got out.

PEARLS OF RAIN

Couldn't really sleep, i watched a programme on channel 733 (Discovery Home & Health). Then, I heard random drops of rain from the back of the kitchen. Must've been from the awning extension. The TV reception was getting worse and so I switched it off. I reached for a coffee table sort-of-book that i had recently. It was a pictorial history of Malaysia from 1400-2004. The author, Wan Kadijah Moore was an Australian born, but has spent much of the 20 years of living in and writting about Malaysia. I reckon she married a local.

I've fairly gone thru the pictures in the book several times before... while watching tv or in between tiding up the table. But today i did managed to read it. It was indeed a good book! Haven't got to finish it coz the rain got heavier and i heard the wind whistled thru the sliding door.

And yes that kinda creeps me out... moreover, the wind chime from my neighbour's balcony jingled in crescendo!

I ended up curling in my bed with a torchlight by the bedside and Hubby's t-shirt on, hoping to be hypnotised to sleep by the sounds of the raindrops from the balcony.

My eyes were still blinking an hour later.

FROM A DISTANCE

Being a far, it was never easy for me, yet tolerable. I really miss him.

SIREH DIJUNJUNG

Tepak sireh pembuka kata,

disuara hasrat keluarga jejaka,

cincin di beri mengikat tanda,

besar hati pinangan diterima

Menyusun kata

mendulang hantaran

tumpang gumbira

mengiring rombongan

terpancar harapan

PIECES OF JOY

Yeay I'm back! Owh , it was so much fun!

I had fun:

=> island hopping and snorkeling ( the sceneries was AWESOME)

=> food (especially somtam) from the local village market, and the kakak yala at National park

=> the hot spring

=> the best massage i ever had (giggles)

I'll go into the details of the trip when I have the time. Mean time I'm gonna be busy entertaining in-laws in preparing for my Bro in-laws's engagement. Here are some photos taken...

Ao Nang Beach

Massage parlour nearby the hotel

Bamboo Island

Hin Klang

Lok Samah Bay

Maya Beach

Hot Spring

Emerald Pool

Leaving Krabi