TO SURVIVE

Happy 5th Bday, Adam Faiz!

Rasa mcm baru smlm I had sleepovers at Rina's hse... borak sampai pagi... hangout at modesto's, uptown, dome... we shared a lot of things... My family was in JB, so everytime i craved for home cooked meal, Rina's mom was whom I ran to...

Rina married Faizal somewhere around 2003. Faizal was the sweetest guy!!! I was so happy for her. I went to the weddings on the both side of the family. I cried during the nikah. Occay,.. rephrase... I cried in all nikah ceremony except mine..occay?.... ironic..

Well,.. we did keep in touch. Tapi susah nak jumpa and hangout. I moved to ampang and she stayed with her mother-inlaw at Puchong. We met at my wedding on Dec1st, 2005. I was having my make-up done in the room and I heard her voice on the door.. I couldnt respond. I just had a glimpsed of her,smilling at me... with his son, Adam Faiz in her arms...

I didn't managed to talk to her... I remember waving at her from my meja pengantin... Few months later, she called and invited me to her son's Aqiqah at her parents... I went with my mom. Adam was so adorable... I saw that Faizal is a good father, he's doing great as a father... Rina too... I was so glad..

We did spoke on the phone,.. untill I was away with Ray, sailing for 8 months. Everytime I was around Malaysia's coast, I send her sms, but it was never delivered. I thought maybe she changed her number. Well, I knew back then that I can just go to her parents place and ask for her number when I got back... So , I did... but there were nobody home. So I sent her an email. I keyed in "urgent" at the top of the message... i told her that I was away for 8 months and asked whether she changed her number. Yup, I received a quick reply, but it was not good news...

They went to London because Faizal was assigned to work over there for at least 6 months. She just wrote that Faizal had passed away, there. Two months before I sent her that email. Her new mobile number was stated at the end of the email. I called her that instant! I was glad to hear her voice,.. I learned that Faizal was just merely having a fever. But after a few days, they went to see a doctor and he was admitted to the hospital. After a several tests... he was diagnosed with leukemia. He passed away a few days later. I tried to control my voice, because tears was running down my face.. I wouldn't want her to know... She was already so sad...

I asked her out a few times, but she seemed not to respond. I understand... she was still in grief. I did send her sms saying that I'll always be there if she needed anything or someone to talk to. We finally met one fine day.. had lunch at secret recipe, alpha angle... Adam tagged along... we had a long talk...

That night I received a sms from her. She said that she was glad we talked, and she was sorry that sometimes she just didnt have the mood to see or talk with anyone... She still didn't go to some places that she used to go with Fazal. She still couldn't do it yet...

We met again fews months later at KLCC for a buka puasa buffet. Adam was thrilled to see that they served sushi. erm.. me too... I SO love sushi!!! Rina was quiet for a moment. She looked at me. "Faizal and Adam loved sushi. I don't. Faizal will take Adam for sushi at least twice a month. And,... Adam did not have any since Faizal passed away..." Tears was in her eyes...

Last week was Adam's 5th Birthday. I attended his bday bash at Kidsport, great eastern mall. He was so happy. He's friends from school were there... Gosh... aku pulak yang sentimental, berair mata masa tu...